Before Black Friday, I was taking a much needed break from online poker. There wasn't anything unusual about this, as I did this from time to time, during downswings. Mostly, to clear my head. Always seemed to do the trick. Came back with a clear head, new life, and ready to jump back into the grind.
I was starting off the year getting my ass royally handed to me. I wasn't playing my best poker, but definitely wasn't playing below par either. I was just going through yet another downswing, and running well below expectation.
At this point, I was really starting to get frustrated, and starting to question my abilities as a poker player. In December, I was playing some of the best poker I have ever played. I made a deep run in a 3r and got 3rd for a little over 1k profit. Not bad for a 13 hour session, even though I was single tabling the for last 8 hours...
A week or two later, I made a decent run at a Mini FTOPS event. It was a 26$ 6max KO. The field was pretty big, and one of the biggest I've played online. I ended up getting 67th out of over 17.4k for $383. I also got enough knock outs, so that I was free rolling the tourney. It was a good score, but I was left feeling disappointed and unrewarded for my efforts. I was really depressed after not making the FT and shipping that 52.8K or however much first place was. I just couldn't shake it off.
Usually you get over a tourney rather quick when you bust. As MTT players, we know we're going to lose, on average, >80% of the tourneys we register for. This bust out was different though. This was the first tourney that I legitimately had a shot for life changing money. All the other tourneys I final tabled, were for low to mid 4 fig scores. This would have been my first five figure score. A decent one at that.
Realizing just how brutal MTTs are, I knew that I had just blown a golden opportunity. I knew that it was going to be quite a while before I was deep in another juicy tourney like that. That loss was tough for me, still not over it to be honest. Hard not to think what my life would have been like, had I won it.
I didn't have any more scores to close out the month. Partly because I punted, deep, in one of those 11$ super stacks. I think it was the 7pm one. I probably had ~30BBs, but the way I busted was just an utterly horrid play. One in which, I'm ashamed to admit. I limp jammed a weak suited ace vs a nit in the SB. The structure in those tourneys were pretty decent. They allowed for a fair amount of play for <30 BB stacks. I wouldn't have minded so much if I had bet then 4b jammed there, but the fact that I LIMPED and shoved vs the nit wasn't justifiable by any means.
I didn't bubble the FT or anything. We were probably down to 3 tables at this point. I didn't have a big stack, but still feel I had an edge vs most of the remaining field. I should have raised/folded and waited for a much better spot to get my money in. I was/am, for the most part, a very patient tournament player. There would be some tourneys where I would somehow grind a <20 BB stack for hours. I'd fold patiently then finally pick up a few hands and chips. Somehow finding myself in a spot to make the FT or even win!
Needless to say, after having a profitable, yet disappointing December, I was nonetheless excited for what the new year had in store for me. I started off January with an early win. It was only for $300 from a 4.40 rush MTT. Expectations were high for the new, and hopefully very profitable, year.
Variance inevitably claimed its rightful place in the poker equation. It took me close till the end of February to win my next rush MTT. I finished out the month with zero wins, and undoubtedly in the red. I played the first few days in March, but took like a week or so off, then went back to the bull shit that is full tilt poker. Finished off the month like a true pro. With only a hanful of mincashes and a single FT bubble. I think it goes without saying that moral was not at an all time high moving into April.
I only played a handful of tourneys the first week of April and was going to take one of my few weeks to a month break of online poker. I didn't know that online poker was going to be shut down in just a little over a week...
I remember 4/15 very well. I was just bull shitting around on the computer, reading 2p2 when I saw charder30's thread. Like everyone else I didn't know what to make from all of this. I knew that the future of online poker in the US was a little unstable, but didn't think it would come to a screeching hault like it did. I think it took all of us by surprise. That, and the fact that I still had money on FTP. I didn't have as much as most of you ballers out there, who had high 5 and even 6 figs online. Not being able to log on was a bit concerning. I watched that thread carefully over the next few weeks to see what, if any, updates there were.
Finally, we received word that the DOJ would allow stars and full tilt to return US players their funds. We all breathed an enormous sigh of relief. We didn't know that 7+ months later we still wouldn't see a dime from tilt. Stars, as always, paid their players promptly and handled the whole situation with class. Anyone who has ever dealt with stars already knows this, as this is the standard for them.
Tilt, on the other hand, couldn't have handled the situation any more poorly. They went on their money grabbing rampage. Lead by their rush, multi entry and 2x guarantee propaganda. Trying to get their hands on every cent of rake, before the banhammer came down. If that wasn't bad enough, they kept stringing us along. Promising us that we would get our funds soon, and basically doing more harm than good, when and if, they did make statements.
After BF, I was furious. Mostly because I wasn't working at the time, and poker was my only source of income. So basically just lost my job. Again. Anger was soon overtaken by regret. Regret from not putting in more volume. Not trying to improve my game more, and taking the game more seriously, earlier than I did.
The possibility of not being able to make another FT was a tad unsettling, to say the least. No more adrenaline rushes during deep runs. No more mornings filled of high hopes and endless possibilities. The fact that one tournament could earn you life changing money, was enough to keep your head up through the downswings. All that taken away in the blink of an eye.
The government didn't take just take away our right to play poker, they took away the jobs and hobbies from a lot of hard working Americans. Poker isn't gambling. It couldn't be further from it. Sure, luck does play a small role in poker, but skill and knowledge play a much more crucial role. A role, that the majority of the time, wins with ease over the players gambling at the table. They do have to hit on occasion, but the better players will get their money in the end. Plain and simple.
Luckily, I went back to work in the summer. Not the ideal time to put up warehouses in Florida, but it was steady work and good pay. I was working long hours and getting over time basically each paycheck. I didn't have the time or the energy to think about online poker, or the fact that my funds were, and still are, stuck in limbo. I was working, eating and sleeping. That was it. Rinse and repeat.
Unfortunately, we didn't keep getting contracts for more buildings. I was once again, without a source of income.
My brother in law started to get some work, so I gave the flooring industry a try. That was working out well at first. I was getting plenty of hours a week. I was earning a lot less, but this work was much less strainful. Being in the a/c wasn't a bad perk either. Actually, it was quite nice. Going from 90F+ and 10+ hour days to 70F with similar hours, was almost worth the drop in pay. Almost.
I haven't worked for the past two months. I have worked less than a full week in that time. I was able to handle the swings of 2/2 NL, with a steady paycheck, despite not being properly rolled.
Since work has slacked off recently, I can no longer afford to play live poker. I'm getting desperate to the point of depositing onto Merge and getting back into the online grind. I'm really jonesin for some online poker.
We're still waiting on people to decide what color they want for their tile...We have two big jobs lined up, but neither can make up their mind on what color. This has been going on for weeks now, and not expected to start either until January.
With the next month or two free, I think its about time I rejoin you fine gentlemen and ladies at the tables!
